Day 9 - S*x Talk

Did you enjoy our little video yesterday? That pretty much sums up things on the food front around here.

We are starting to get into a groove. I actually made a bean-burger today served on flat bread...not homemade (thank you Cosco) but it was good and the kids felt like they were getting a treat. Remember, our boundaries during the week are African ingredients not necessarily prepared in an African way. Mid afternoons are the hardest for all of us so I'm going to need to work out a better snack situation. No other food interest to report.

I had a "teenagers and dating" talk with a friend of mine today that brought to mind a story I would like to share with you.

During our time in Africa, not only do we travel hut to hut sharing the gospel, but we also work with local student groups taking teams into the schools to have assemblies. How refreshing to have the gospel message welcomed in school as opposed to being censored like we do here in America! On Saturday of our trips, we participate in Student Conferences. These conferences are held in one school but attended by secondary students from a variety of schools in the area (High Schoolers). The schools perform for one another, officials make speeches and our team shares a message about living the Christian life. Both years I attended conferences, we have ended the day dividing the group into genders to have s*x talks and answer questions. The students are able to anonymously write down any question they have and we sort through them (for duplicates) and try to answer as many as possible.

My first year at a conference I had a wonderful, poignant experience that I hope never to forget. My second year was also profound, but in a much more humbling way, still, I hope never to forget it either.

You see, we had translator issues during our girls assembly and because of it, we weren't well understood. In addition, the translator was one of the female teachers and she seemed anxious to shut everything down so that the girls could get home before sundown. We did not get through many of the questions under these circumstances. It was frustrating and because I was the adult woman on our team trying to help younger team members through this experience, I felt like I had failed in some way.

I should stop to explain here that one question/comment was repeated numerous times in the stack of notes we were given from the students; it was a question regarding fear of s*x. It was asked in a variety of ways and I was all prepared to give a nice, neat, Christian answer for how s*x was designed by God and it was good within the context of marriage. Circumstances never allowed me to answer that question, which would turn out to be a good thing.

The girls session was ended abruptly and I was frustrated. As the students poured out of the classroom, I stepped outside for fresh air. I was irritated to see that the boys assembly was apparently going quite well on the other side of the school yard. Looked as though they were focused and embroiled in deep conversation. Boo-hoo for me (yes, my pity-party had begun).

Then a young lady named Agatha introduced herself. She explained that her question was never answered and she wondered if I might speak with her about it. We stepped aside for privacy as she explained to me how she had been raped earlier in the school year and was now fearful that she was going to die. She despaired that all of her parent's hard work to finance her education was now for nothing since she would more than likely die of AIDS. She then asked me if her rape meant she would no longer be welcomed in heaven.

I'm leaving out many details, but I assure you that her story was horrific. I did my best to assure her that she was the victim and that God did not pass judgement on her at all. I explained how faith in Jesus Christ was the way into heaven, pure and simple. Her salvation was secure. I tried to love on her and share God's love with her. I also encouraged her to seek counsel from a trusted female teacher at her school.

Now I understood more clearly all those "fear about s*x" questions. They weren't fearful of the natural act of intercourse, they were scared that all s*x led to physical death - literally.

I don't totally understand the reasons why so many Africans are still un-educated about safe s*x and the spread of disease. I do know a little bit about tribal practices and ridiculous superstitions that affect the s*x life of many African men - like the belief that if you have s*x with a virgin you will rid yourself of AIDS. This may explain why rape is so prevalent many places in Africa. I don't know. All I do know is that young Agatha is just one of many young ladies dealing with the shame and fear of being raped.

I pouted for a while after that conference and I believe God let me go through that process so I would better understand the difference between His agenda and my own. You see, my American view of success meant confidence, compliments and lots of students coming to the Lord. I left that experience feeling like an utter failure.

In retrospect I have to believe that no matter how poorly I felt like the rest of that day went, perhaps God had me there for that ONE. I know for a fact that God cares for that one girl and he knows her by name: Agatha.

As I recount this story to you I feel sad once again that my heart can sometimes be so contrary to God's and I feel sorrow for Agatha. However, I stand firm in believing that no matter what cultural differences exist in the world, there is only one true answer - one path to lasting change.

His name is Jesus.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." - John 3:16-17

- Julie

[FYI, I had to misspell the word s*x throughout this posting because apparently there are perverts who like to hijack other people's web addresses and use them for their own perverted purposes...ugh.]